To Be Yourself
Posted on Jan 20, 2010
One of the most difficult tasks in life is allowing others to be unique and to celebrate with them that uniqueness. The overwhelming temptation is to apply cookie-cutter molding. While shopping last week I overheard a mother lament to the younger of her two sons, “why can’t you be like Anthony?” A different teenager at The Gap cautioned her friend, “oh, you can’t pick that top, nobody is wearing those anymore!” Pick sports not music, pick Florida not Florida State, get a “real job” even though you love photography. I’m certain you can supply many more examples of the cultural squeeze that at its heart is really an attempt to say, “one size fits all.” Perhaps subconsciously we are merely attempting to validate our own choices by garnering like thinkers. I came across the following thoughts, written anonymously, (I hope the author wasn’t afraid of what others would think!) which comically challenge us to embrace differences.
A man went to the tailor to have a suit made cheaply, but when the suit was finished and he went to try it on it didn’t fit him at all. Complaining that the jacket was too big in back, the right arm was too long, one pant leg was too short and three buttons were missing, the man was justifiably upset. “No problem,” said the tailor. “Just hunch your back, bend your arm, walk with a limp, and stick your fingers through the button holes and you’ll look just fine!” Momentarily duped by the tailor, the man contorted his body to fit the suit and he left the shop. The fellow had not walked one block when he was approached by a stranger. “Who made that suit for you?” asked the stranger. “I’m in the market for a new suit myself.” Surprised, but pleased at the compliment, the man pointed out the tailor’s shop. “Well, thanks very much,” said the stranger, hurrying off. “I do believe I’ll go to that tailor for my suit; he must be a genius to fit a cripple like you.”
A Hasidic teaching summarizes the moral of this Headliner, “If your child has a talent to be a baker, don’t ask him to be a doctor.” It can be crippling to artificially remold important components of life merely to fit external desires and demands, but be careful; this is not a license for “anything goes.” What I am saying is that every child we teach, every person we befriend and each stranger we encounter is unique and deserves to be approached with wonder, not with a mark-up pencil for alterations.
